Hen night is a celebration held for a woman who is about to get married, attended only by women. They are generally known as the classy, feminine counterpart of the stag do.
For a bride to be sometimes hen night celebration can turn into a nightmare. Bride enjoys with their close friends by calling some strippers. Some brides even sleep with the strippers and didn’t remember anything the very next day. In some parties, all the people will vomit destroying the whole party.
But these hen nights came be outrageous to dangerous and everything in between.
I went to a colleague’s hen do so I didn’t know that many of the hens.
We started at the races then went for dinner and drinks, then onto a club. One of the bridesmaids ended up getting chucked out for being too drunk.
She was passed out in bed when we got back – not great seeing as I was sharing with her. I quietly slipped on my pajamas, took out my contact lenses – which made me super blind – and slid under the covers.
Suddenly, this bridesmaid got out of bed, took off all her clothes and climbed back in.
I had my back to her so I shut my eyes and hoped she would go back to sleep. No such luck.
She shimmied across the bed until she was pressed against my back.
I asked what she was doing and she starts writhing around, breathing heavily and whispering, ‘please, please’. Then, out of nowhere, she picks up my hand and starts sucking my fingers!
I instantly pulled my hand away and told her I was flattered but she was not my type – I’m straight. The writing and ‘please’ continued for a bit until, mercifully, she fell into a drunken sleep.
She didn’t mention anything the next morning and apparently, she is straight too.
At one hen do I went to, everyone was taken to the toilet to have a picture taken of their lady parts. Then the photos were stuck up on the wall, and we all had to guess which vagina belonged to who. Losers had to do shots.
We were all perusing these delightful photos when, pretty much as one, we all recoil.
It was involuntary but there was this one picture… it was not a nice looking vajayjay.
The poor girl that it belonged to got really upset. I feel really bad for her, but the whole thing was hilarious up until that point.
I told my bridesmaids I wanted a tame hen do so I wasn’t that pleased when the doorbell rang and a stripper walked in.
He did the whole baby-oil-and-banana act, and it would have been hideous, except that he was really, really good-looking.
After he got changed, we ended up outside having a cigarette together. We got chatting, god knows what about, and one thing led to another and we started kissing and doing other stuff.
He gave me a mind-blowing orgasm, but it must have sobered me up because I immediately burst into tears at what I had done.
My sister had come out looking for me and apparently, I was standing frozen on the spot, sobbing with my skirt round my waist.
My friend had her hen do in Mallorca and we spent one day on the beach.
Four of us decided to hire a pedalo, so we took a bottle of Prosecco, pedaled out, and then sat around for ages drinking and chatting – which is probably why we didn’t realise that we had drifted into a shipping lane.
We started pedaling back frantically but the current was really strong and we were getting nowhere.
We could just make out the bride and other hens desperately waving at us from the beach.
Then we noticed a massive cruise ship was coming straight for us.
One of the hens had a total meltdown and started screaming at a guy on a nearby jet ski to come and help us.
When he rode over, she leapt on the back and made him take her back to shore.
The rest of us had to sit there and wait for the rescue boat to drag us back in. The bride wasn’t best pleased.
We went out on the lash for my cousin’s hen and she kept going on about this particular bar. It turned out her fiance was there having a few drinks with his mates, and she was thought it would be hilarious to crash.
We go into this bar and straight away we see her fiance pulling some random girl.
My cousin started screaming at her fiance (not very surprising), then all of the hens started having a go at his friends (we’d all had a bit to drink).
It all eventually calmed down but it totally killed the vibe.
The hen and her fiance went to theirs to makeup, the rest of us got kebabs and went to bed.
We were in a club and got chatting to a group of guys.
The bride disappeared off, not a good sign, but we found her sitting on a sofa with one of the blokes from the group. He actually seemed OK, and he was wearing a wedding ring, so we left them to it.
An hour later, the bride texted me to say that she had gone back to the apartment we were renting because she was tired. I didn’t want her to spend her own hen night alone so I rounded up the rest of the hens and we went back too.
As soon as we opened the door, there was the bride, scrabbling to get off her knees while this guy was pulling his shorts up.
We were all so drunk it just seemed funny. The guy even hung around for a drink.
The bride and her husband split up three years after the wedding. Surprise, surprise.